Randomly Blogged - Buffalo Springfield Discography

The Runout Groove: Neil Young Discography Part One - Buffalo Springfield / Buffalo Springfield (1966)

The Runout Groove: Neil Young Discography Part Two - Buffalo Springfield / Buffalo Springfield Again (1967)

The Runout Groove: Neil Young Discography Part Three - Buffalo Springfield / Last Time Around (1968)

Comment of the Moment: "Vampire Blues" Video

The recent posting of the "Vampire Blues" video seems to have touched a few nerves.

"What is it with all of this left wing-right wing crap out there in the blogger world? I bought On the Beach when it first came out and when I heard Vampire Blues, I saw it as Neil being self-deprecating, flippant, and more than a little sarcastic. It was a tongue in cheek observation of the oil crisis and the long lines at the pumps(those of you who were driving at the time, as I was, with my gas guzzling 318 engine). It fit well within the context of the record, and the times. The decision by Neil to politicize this with the release of the video was surely done with the same playful attitude he has so amply demonstrated over the years. Despite my own personal reservations about Living With War(I liked it in much the same way that I liked Tonights the Night or time Fades Away). Neil had something to say and he said it in his own inimitable way...with his music. "

And that was one of the more polite comments. More comments and to view "Vampire Blues" video.

It's All One Song

"It's all one song," Neil says into the microphone before Crazy Horse launches into Year of the Horse's opening track, "When You Dance You Can Really Love."

A reader of Thrasher's Wheat, Trip Niven of Monroe, North Carolina, license plate.

Thanks Trip!

More on the story behind "all one song" and the Year of The Horse Tour and film.

And some more Neil license plates and other signs of all things Neil.

TRANS Revisited: When New Wave happens to Baby Boomer rockers

An interesting analysis of TRANS over on CultureCloud by Bob Cook. Cook looks at what happens when artists from the '60's meet up with New Wave and examines Neil Young's TRANS.

"In the late 1970s, established Baby-Boomer rockers -- the kind now the target audience of Dennis Hopper's rebellious retirement plan TV ads -- got jolted by the double-barrelled commercial attack of disco and New Wave. The results of rockers' sudden, survival-instinct embrace of disco (from artistic and commercial successes as the Rolling Stones, to commercial successes and artistic failures such as Rod Stewart and Kiss, to failures all around such as Aretha Franklin) has been well-chronicled.

But what of those rockers who succumbed to New Wave? In North America, punk was slow to break out commercially, but the edgy, choppy, synth-driven, skinny-tie sounds of New Wave caught fire, making many veteran artists sound like dinosaurs. Which many of them, thanks to a combination of substance abuse, aging and general torpor, indeed were. While bands like the Allman Brothers (at least for a while) were lost in New Wave's wake, other acts decided they had better start sounding more like Gary Numan."

Cook goes on to describe the painful backstory in detail and the resulting TRANS sessions. While Thrasher would have to disagree with the overall assessment, as flawed as TRANS might be, it is still an essential component of Neil's discography.

Also see review Trans - Neil Young Albums In Order and Neil Young Interview - Village Voice Rock and Roll Quarterly, Winter 1989.

Comment of the Moment: Documentary Film of CSNY Freedom of Speech Tour

A Comment of the Moment on Documentary Film of CSNY Freedom of Speech Tour. Simpson said...

"I don't know about the rest of you guys...but I'm rather disappointed in learning that the CSNY movie will be a documentary and not a straight concert film...which I had been hoping for.

I know this was a very controversial tour and all...but the very first official movie with all four members in it is going to be a documentary?

I do have to admit that I am political...and on the Republican side...but I still have both versions of Young's 'Living With War' album and saw the guys at their last stop of the '06 tour in Burgettstown.

Here's what I have to say. Each concert was about 3 1/2 hours long. I loved every single song they played at my concert. I was hoping to get just a straight concert film with concert footage of most of the songs they played.

With a documentary we're gonna get less concert footage for more interviews and opinionated stuff which I probably won't want to watch after the first or second viewings. I understand the meaning of this tour and all...but I was mainly hoping to get a concert film.

I honestly don't care about the documentary aspect of it...that's fine with me...but a documentary means less concert footage."

Hopefully, a DVD release will have a full concert recording.

Documentary Film of CSNY Freedom of Speech Tour

From Billboard on an upcoming documentary film on Crosby Stills Nash & Young's 2006 Freedom of Speech Tour, David Crosby said:

"You've got to understand this was a pretty controversial tour," he adds, noting that the material from Young's politically strident "Living With War" album tended to have a polarizing effect on the crowds. "We had a lot of people who felt very strongly that we were speaking for them; when we would say the war (in Iraq) was a bad idea, they really, really loved it. There was also a very small minority of very vocal people who would say, 'You can't say that about George!' and get very upset and stomp out."

CSNY's film crew interviewed people from both camps, according to Crosby, as well as soldiers who had been fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001. "We brought them to the shows and asked them what they thought about (the war) and also got them to write songs," he reports. "We just talked to a lot of people all over the place about where America is right now, about what the significance is of this polarization that's taken place in this country, what's at stake and how they think it might play out.

"It's pretty critical stuff. We feel like the Constitution is pretty much on the line here, and so the movie, I think, will concern itself with all of those things."

More on Crosby Stills Nash & Young's 2006 Freedom of Speech Tour.

Crosby Stills Nash & Young 2006 Interview on YouTube

Crosby Stills Nash & Young interview from 2006 Freedom of Speech Tour.

Vampire Blues - YouTube

In honor of President Bush's State of the Union speech tonight, we bring you a video of "Vampire Blues" on YouTube.

It's interesting that the 1974 song foreshadows the quest of oil for blood. But that's Neil for you. So far ahead of the curve, you can't even figure out where he's coming from.

I'm a vampire, babe, suckin' blood from the earth
I'm a vampire, baby, suckin' blood from the earth.
Well, I'm a vampire, babe, sell you twenty barrels worth.
I'm a black bat, babe, bangin' on your window pane
I'm a black bat, baby, bangin' on your window pane.
Well, I'm a black bat, babe, I need my high octane.
Good times are comin', I hear it everywhere I go
Good times are comin', I hear it everywhere I go.
Good times are comin', but they sure comin' slow.
I'm a vampire, babe, suckin' blood from the earth
I'm a vampire, baby, suckin' blood from the earth.
Well, I'm a vampire, babe, sell you twenty barrels worth.
Good times are comin'.

More on the album On The Beach and the "Blues Trilogy".

Songs of Protest: Los Angeles Concert

Poster by McNevin Hayes

Last month, we wrote about a planned Songs Of The Times concert in Los Angeles.

Over on Neil's LIVING WITH WAR TODAY page there has been a running feature called Songs Of The Times. Awhile back, the question was raised: Where Do We Go From Here?.

Now we have answer -- a concert called Songs of Protest. The concert is an evening with the songwriters featured at Neil Youngs' Living With War Today Website.

The concert will feature:

- Cindy Lee Berryhill("When Did Jesus Become A Republican?", "Forty Cent Raise")
- Josh Hisle (“A Traitor’s Death”, “Wasteland”)
- Jenny Yates (“Shine A Light”, “They Called Her America”)
- John Hughes (“Bring ‘Em On”)
- Gale Mead ("Letters Home")
- And very Special Guests John Doe (X), Rev.Madison Shockley & more.

Conert will be Saturday, Feb. 10th, 2007 at LARGO, 432 North Fairfax Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90036, Phone (323) 852-1073. Tickets are $20.00 at the door.

Don’t miss this remarkable evening of protest songs by some of today’s most topical songwriters. Neil Young, hot off the release of his protest album “Living With War”, has created a website which features stories, music and videos from his album, as well as the music of hundreds of other exciting songwriters featuring their protest music. This evening is a chance to see some of them live, along with other special guests to be announced, some not to be announced and all not to be missed.

For details, email cindyleeberryhill@hotmail.com

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction of Neil Young on YouTube

Neil Young being inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame by Eddie Vedder at Waldorf Astoria Hotel, New York, NY on January 12, 1995 - Part 1



Neil Young being inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame at Waldorf Astoria Hotel, New York, NY on January 12, 1995 - Part 2

Also, see transcript of Eddie Vedder's speech inducting Young.

1971 Toronto Massey Hall Concert Next Up in Archives Series

From Globe and Mail (Canada) comes word that a January 19, 1971 concert at Toronto's Massey Hall will be the next release in the Archives Series.

March 13 is the scheduled release date.

From press release, Neil says:

"This is the album that should have come out between 'After The Gold Rush' and 'Harvest'. David Briggs, my producer, was adamant that this should be the record, but I was very excited about the takes we got on 'Harvest,' and wanted 'Harvest' out. David disagreed. As I listen to this today, I can see why."

From a review of the 1971 concert by Globe and Mail's Jack Batten:

"All of a sudden, without anyone (except a million kids) noticing, Neil Young of Winnipeg and Toronto has arrived as a major pop star, someone to reckon with on the rich, heady, crowd-drawing level of James Taylor. If you don't believe it, you should have been at Massey Hall last night where he played two concerts for sell-out houses of mostly young people who were there not merely to listen but to worship.

"From the opening ovation to the closing and standing ovations, the audience was positively adulatory, rewarding Young with constant bursts of clapping for every trivial move, from sipping water to announcing new songs, a fact I mention not merely because the handclapping was by itself a drag but also because it constantly intruded on any close relationship between Young and the best part of his audience. . . ."

"His songwriting isn't his strongest talent. (His lovely clean voice is.) He does have a knack for writing one- and two-liners that stick in the head, and occasionally, as in a new song he sang about a hired man on his ranch, he comes up with numbers that sustain a mood for their entire duration. . . ."

The tracklisting for the CD is not available yet. Here's the setlist from the Massey Hall show: Here's the tracklisting:

01 On The Way Home
02 Tell Me Why
03 Old Man
04 Journey Through The Past
05 Helpless
06 Love In Mind
07 A Man Needs A Maid / Heart Of Gold
08 Cowgirl In The Sand
09 Don't Let It Bring You Down
10 There's A World
11 Bad Fog Of Loneliness
12 The Needle And The Damage Done
13 Ohio
14 See The Sky About To Rain
15 Down By The River
16 Dance, Dance, Dance
17 I Am A Child

Pre-Order from Amazon.comLive at Massey Hall (Support Thrasher's Wheat. Thanks!)

Also, see Sneak Preview of Live at Massey Hall

More on the first installment of The Archives: Fillmore East.

Tribute to Ahmet Ertegun by Neil Young

From Rolling Stone, Neil Young's tribute to Ahmet Ertegun:

"When Ahmet Ertegun first came to hear Buffalo Springfield, he immediately started helping us to make our music. He was parental -- a cool guy, musically savvy and talking our language, but not threatening or overbearing.

I decided, after the Springfield broke up, that it wasn't a good idea for Stephen [Stills] and me to be on the same label. I told Ahmet. I said, "I love Atlantic, but I don't want to compete with Stephen. I want a fresh start." He totally understood. He said, "It's always sad to have to part ways. But you can call me if you need anything. I'll give you advice. And if you ever want to come back, give me a call." There was absolutely none of the bullshit that you would expect.

When Stephen asked me to join Crosby, Stills and Nash, I didn't know it was Ahmet who was behind it. One of the things he liked about the Springfield was Stephen and me -- what happened when we played guitars together. Even though we fought like brothers, we played like brothers, and Ahmet saw that we could keep on going. To Ahmet, that was a no-brainer.

The last time I saw Ahmet, we just sat and talked. He was a regular guy. He happened to also be one of the most powerful guys in the music business. But he had no use for wielding the power. The only time he ever used his power was with other executives. He didn't use it on the musicians. And it's suitable that his last conscious moments were at a concert. Because that's the way he lived. He went to a show. And the encore was heaven. "

Also, see IN MEMORIAM: AHMET ERTEGUN 1923-2006.

James Mazzeo Posters

Barstool Blues

Last month, we picked up James Mazzeo's very cool Zuma poster which made a nice addition to Thrasher's rock-n-roll basement.

Now comes word that there are additional Neil Young-themed posters in limited quantities being made available. More details on sales (begins Monday, January 15) and to view posters.

Also, check out the TRAIL OF RUST poster. One can only imagine the inspiration?!

Thanks Sharry!

Pete Townshend on War and Music

From Pete Townshend's blog on war and music:

"There is a new context for this idea of mine that '60s loud and aggressive rock rose from the unique post-war mood of denial in the older generation. They had seen too much horror, found an uneasy peace, and could engage the subject no more. It is clear that such a silence might lead the teenager I was to write My Generation, and turn up my guitar to emulate the sound of bombers. What might be less clear to your readers is why I might bring all this up today.

I think rock music is about to throw off some of its testosterone driven defiance. I may be wrong, but wherever I look today I see younger musicians demanding a new level of intimacy from their audience. 'Unplugged' rock is not exactly what is happening. It is more a return to the traditions of Bert Jansch, Pete Seeger, Woody Guthrie, Ewan McColl, Dave Van Ronk, Big Bill Broonzy, Joan Baez and even early Bob Dylan. This is not entirely about Protest, rather about music performed gently that expresses a single idea along the single pathway of the conscience of an individual musician daring to speak up about something they might uniquely believe. Even anger is delivered gently.

To my mind this is a more fitting way to make music in today's political climate than standing on a stage hiding behind a virtual armory of heavy metal weaponry. It is not Pacifism. It is not denial. It is a sharing of individual morality."

As we posted recently, there is a tremendous amount of discussion in these times regarding war and music today.

Also, see more on Pete Townshend & Neil Young and here.

Pearl Jam Record Who and Neil Young Covers for Fan Club Single

From Retro Music Snob News comes word that Pearl Jam's annual holiday single for members of its Ten Club fan organization will feature a pair of classic rock covers: the Who's 'Love Reign O'er Me' and Neil Young's 'Rockin' in the Free World,' recorded live at the Make Poverty History benefit in Melbourne in November with U2's Bono and the Edge guesting.

More on Pearl Jam and Neil Young and Rockin' In The Free World lyrics analysis.

Sugar Mountain Has A New Home

The Neil Young Set Lists site, Sugar Mountain run by Tom H., has moved. The new URL is www.sugarmtn.org.

So why can't you be 20 on Sugar Mountain?

Neil Post of the Moment

Something new over on the sidebar -- The Neil Post of the Moment.

Here are some previous Posts of the Moment:


- Neil Young's "Truly Timeless Music"
- Lady GaGa Covers Neil Young's "Out on the Weekend"
- Jimmy Fallon Impression of Neil Young Goes Viral
- Jackson Browne and Neil Young
- Jimmy Page and Neil Young
- Making "Wonderin'" Video by Tim Pope
- Review: Neil Young's Dreamin' Man
- Comment of the Moment: "Neil Young's Imperfect Nature"
- FLASHBACK: Concert Review of Neil Young, Williamsburg, October 7, 1978
- The Year of Harvest Moon
- What's The Deal With The Performance Series (NYAPS)?
- Adam Sandler and Neil Young on "Powderfinger" at Bridge School Concert
- We Went to a Football Game and a Neil Young Debate Broke Out
- 20th Anniversary of Saturday Night Live Performance of "Rockin' In The Free World"
- Jimi Hendrix and Neil Young at Woodstock
- Bands Covering Neil Young Songs
- 2009 Bridge School Benefit Concert Reviews
- Farm Aid 2009 Concert Reviews - St. Louis, Missouri, 10/4/09
- Inside The Making of The Neil Young Archives
- Thrasher's Review of The Neil Young Archives Vol 1 (1963-1972)
- A Small Miracle in Hyde Park, London
- Europe 2009 Concert Tour Highlights
- A Request for "Harvest Moon" in Dublin
- New Orleans Jazz Festival 2009 Concert Review
- Canada-U.S. Spring 2009 Concert Tour & Reviews
- Fork in the Road Review
- Buffalo Springfield's Dewey Martin: 1940 - 2009
- Adam Sandler Covers "Like a Hurricane"
- 1-20-09: A Sea Change Begins
- A Wish For Harvest Moon
- The Archives Roundup: The Trick of Disaster
- 2008 Year in Review - Blu-Rays and LincVolts
- Road Trip Report of 2008 Tour Home Stretch
- Archives Q & A Session
- Winnipeg 2008: The Neil Young Concert Experience
- Bridge School 2008 Benefit Concert
- Farm Aid 2008 Concert
- Europe Summer 2008 Tour Wrap Up
- Highlights of Summer 2008 Europe Tour - Leg #1
- Photos of Chrome Dreams II Tour Highlights
- The Archives Announcement
- Europe 2008 Tour Highlights
- Year of the Chrome: 2007 in Review
- Concert Review: Philadelphia, PA - 12/9 & 10/07
- Chrome Dreams II Concert Review: Washington, DC - 11/15 & 16/07
- Lyrics Analysis of "Ordinary People"
- Greendale 2003 Tour Reviews & Photos
- Album's In Order Reviews
- Larry Cragg Interview
- The Ragland Project
- Neil Young in Austin, Texas in 1976
- Find The Cost Of Freedom: A New Year
- Neil Young 2006 Year in Review
- Danny Whitten and Kurt Cobain
- "Heart of Gold" Film Roundup
- "Prairie Wind": A Roundup

Also, see some previous Page of the Moment, Photo of the Moment, and Link of the Moment.

Neil Young in Austin, Texas in 1976

A super photo gallery of Neil Young in Austin, Texas on November 9, 1976 photographed by Mark Estabrook.

Thanks Mark for dropping link! Great shots!

Rockin' In The Free World of Vermont

A reader of Thrasher's Wheat, Tony Gallucci of Burlington, Vermont, license plate.

Thanks Tony!

More on the story behind the acronym RITFW.

And some more Neil license plates and other signs of all things Neil.

IN MEMORIAM: AHMET ERTEGUN 1923-2006

Ahmet Ertegun - Founder of Atlantic Records
Photo by Jim Cooper/AP

It was with great sadness that we learned of Ahmet Ertegun's passing last month (December 14). Ahmet was more than just a giant in the record business and had a long list of accomplishments, among which includes his instrumental role in forming Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young.

A reader of Thrasher's Wheat, Tony Gallucci of Burlington, VT brings us these thoughts on Ahmet's life in music.

People like lists. Letterman does lists. MTV, Rolling Stone, AFI and VH1 love their lists. Well, here is my favorite list. Ray Charles. Ruth Brown. Aretha Franklin. The Coasters. Otis Redding. Wilson Pickett. Buffalo Springfield. Crosby, Stills and Nash. Neil Young. Coltrane. Cream. Yes. Zeppelin. The Rascals. The Bee Gee’s. Bette Midler. Blind Faith.

What kind of eclectic list is this? It’s not a list of musicians, it is a list of greatness; a list of seeds which when planted would grow strong roots, bloom in rich blossoms and sow seed all over again. And it happens to be the partial list of who I would have missed had Ahmet Ertegun not borrowed $10,000 from his dentist and started Atlantic Records in 1947. His unparalleled vision, commitment to the artist and ability to see people as more than blacks or whites or paychecks, leave us as heirs to a musical legacy which cannot likely be equaled again. He’s the one who gave Stephen Stills a bag of cash when Stephen told him about a new project he wanted to record after the Springfield folded. He is the one who suggested CSN bring Neil into the band. He didn’t interfere when Yes wanted to put the 18 minute Close to the Edge on one side of an album.

He frequented dark nightspots and brought out sunshine. He was a Muslim who worked with Jews to bring Christians the Gospel soul music of the Blacks. Anyone know what the criteria is for a Nobel Peace Prize?

Mr. Ertegun, you have my gratitude, and I wish I could have once had the chance to tell you so.

Thanks Tony. Well said.
For more, see Atlantic Records - Remembering Ahmet Ertegun.

CSNY's "Carry Me" and "Chicago" on YouTube

Crosby Stills Nash & Young perform "Carry Me" from 2006 Freedom of Speech Tour.



Crosby Stills Nash & Young perform "Chicago" from 2006 Freedom of Speech Tour.

War and Music Today

Much has been made of today's generation apathy to making and listening to music relevant to our times. Others have taken great issue with his indictment, citing many examples of today's protest music.

An article in the New York Times by JON PARELES examines the issue of music during our time of war:

"Songs that touched on the war in 2006 were suffused with the mournful and resentful knowledge that — as Neil Young titled the album he made and rush-released in the spring — we are “Living With War,” and will be for some time. Awareness of the war throbs like a chronic headache behind more pleasant distractions.

The cultural response to war in Iraq and the war on terrorism — one protracted, the other possibly endless — doesn’t have an exact historical parallel. Unlike World War II, the current situation has brought little national unity; unlike the Vietnam era, ours has no appreciable domestic support for America’s opponents. Iraq may be turning into a quagmire and civil war like Vietnam, but the current war has not inspired talk of generationwide rebellion (perhaps because there’s no draft to pit young against old) or any colorful, psychedelically defiant counterculture. The war songs of the 21st century have been sober and earnest, pragmatic rather than fanciful.

The 2000s are not the late 1960s, culturally or ideologically, but the musical repercussions of the Vietnam War may hint at what comes next. As that war dragged on, the delirious late 1960s gave way to not only the sodden early 1970s of technique-obsessed rock and self-absorbed singer-songwriters, but also to a flowering of socially conscious, musically innovative soul, the music that John Legend and John Mayer now deliberately invoke. It’s as if this wartime era has simply skipped the giddy phase — which didn’t, in the end, turn bombers into butterflies — and gone directly to the brooding. The end of the Vietnam War in 1975 was quickly followed by the rejuvenating energy of punk and hip-hop; there’s no telling what disengagement from Iraq might spark."

Certainly, Neil Young has tried to make a difference. Since he was accused of being wrong about this generation's lack of protest music, he has reversed himself and established the Songs of the Times page, which invites musicians to post their protest songs.

For more, see A New Generation Seeks Pop Music With Meaning, Where are the young voices in political debate?, Rocker's political message is Censored, Tell Us The Truth Tour and Politics & Music.

Find The Cost Of Freedom: A New Year

On occasion, we get letters at Thrasher's Wheat that really move us. Here's one to start off 2007.

hey thrasher

i've put this email off for awhile, since july 25, 2006 to be exact. at the time, things were too raw i suppose. now the exact memories have faded somewhat, but the the story lingers. i'd like to tell it to you.

during my latest "all neil young, all the time" period, i was able to score a ticket to the "freedom of speech tour," a golden ticket a mere four rows from the front ... nirvana ... not to mention my first time being so close ... wow ... no, it was WOW!!! the guy i went with ... well, due to circumstances beyond my control, we were late and we missed most of "flags of freedom." yet as we exited the car i could hear it ringing across the parking lot and i ran for the gate, my heart singing. as i came down the steps to the floor of the amphitheatre, in that 100 degree heat, not 150 feet away, was the man himself. my jaw dropped and i said, "holy sh*t." david crosby happened to catch me in that moment ... we had eye contact, briefly ... then all of my attention went back to neil young, bent over, doing his indian dance around the fire.

i somehow found my seat, my eyes still glued to neil. believe it or not, i was a bit disappointed that i sat directly in front of graham nash. my only excuse was (and is, i'm afraid) that i am "all neil young, all the time" and everyone else simply pales by comparison. everyone. so my apologies to graham nash, he's given me great musical joy throughout the years.

as that amazing evening progressed, i guess mr. crosby found my responses interesting as periodically i'd catch him looking at me and we'd have eye contact and i hope i smiled. i think i did. however, at one point, he pointed me out to neil, who glanced across at me (in that funny under-the-hat way he has) and my entire being froze, i was the deer caught in the headlights, no smiling, no brain activity ... i'm not even sure i breathed. within an all-to-brief minute it was over and he'd moved on (i can't blame him as i was pretty comatose). i glanced over at david crosby who laughed. i laughed back. i wish i'd shaken my finger at him ... very naughty to point me out to neil ... very naughty to force me to deal with that primal force of nature eye to eye. i guess i figured it was ok for me to stare at him until my eyes were pits of fire, but not so much on the returned favor. everytime he looked over, i looked away.

the night descended, the heat unabated and rivulets of sweat ran down everyone's faces and god those four men played on. i loved everything, the heat, the sweat, the music, the passion ... neil young, in other words.

i waited to hear one song in particular. i was 13 in 1970 and over the years i would remember it at odd times ... listening to the news ... somewhere in the middle of a long drive ... sitting on a park bench watching things go by .... it was a simple song, really, but deep and profoundly moving. i waited for it, and finally the moment arrived.

pictures of young men and women lit up the back of the stage. picture after picture. everyone stood. the familiar vocals made themselves clear over the hubbub of the crowd which slowly fell silent. i felt someone tugging at my shirt from behind and i turned around to see the face of a woman, who's guarded brown eyes couldn't quite hide some pain.

she asked me to please sit down. i was surprised and said, "but everyone is standing." she answered, "my son is pictured up there and i can't see him." i immediately turned back around and sat down, somewhat annoyed, my head at the level of everyone's hips. my little monkey mind frittered about with all sorts of justifications and rationalizations "... everyone else is standing up ... i can't see neil ... i can't see anything ... all i can see is the little moon of graham nash's face over someone's shoulder ... i would never sit down for a fallen soldi ..." i stopped. embarrassed. the song played on. my embarrassment deepened. tears welled in my eyes and i felt ashamed. when the song completed i stood and turned to apologize to her. before i could get anything out of my mouth, her first words to me were, "i'm sorry." i said, "i am so sorry." we hugged and my tears overflowed in grief for her, for us. for all of us. she told me a little about him and handed me a small business-type card. his name is kenneth michael ballard and he was a first lieutenant in the united states army. he died in action in najaf, iraq on may 30, 2004. he was a few months shy of his 28th birthday.

her name is karen meredith and she is probably a year or so younger than i am. he was her only son from a marriage that ended in divorce. her only son. he could have been my son, but i have no children. her child died.

find the cost of freedom
buried in the sand
mother earth will swallow you
lay your body down

the rest of the concert was a more intense and somber affair. i still loved being there, sang along with all of the songs ... and loved watching neil. but things were different ... tinged by deep loss and sadness. even now, some months later, i can't forget her face. i have the card she gave me about her son at my desk where i see it every day.

the guy i was with watched the interaction between she and i and told me later someone was filming it. i had no idea ... it was a public moment about private grief made very very public.

find the cost of freedom buried in the sand
mother earth will swallow you, lay your body down

happy christmas thrasher. may 2007 bring peace and a remembrance that love and only love will endure ... for all of us ... each and every one.

all the best,
caryn

Thanks Caryn. And all the best to you in 2007 as well. Hopefully, we won't be finding the cost of freedom buried in the ground this time next year...